


Closer

by dazed_daddario



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcoholism, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 10:31:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8324446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazed_daddario/pseuds/dazed_daddario
Summary: Magnus Bane was an alcoholic and Alec only knows too well the stresses and difficulties it caused in their relationship. After four years apart, Alec runs into a now-sober Magnus in a hotel bar in the city. Surprised but glad to see each other after so long, can they forget the past and start again?Malec AU.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by the song 'Closer' by The Chainsmokers. Hope you like it! And sorry in advance for the angsty beginning! x

**Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you.  
Drank too much and that's an issue but I'm OK.  
Hey, you tell your friends it was nice to meet them.  
But I hope I never see them again.**

_Four years before_

Alec arrived home from a business trip to see Magnus passed out on the sofa, a glass smashed on the floor just under his hand. The younger boy sighed, it was a regular occurence for him to see his boyfriend this way. He walked into the kitchen, his head heavy as he rummaged under the sink for the the dustpan and brush. Reaching into the cabinet, he grabbed a glass and filled it with water for when Magnus woke up. He would need to rehydrate, Alec thought, having seen the nearly empty bottle of whisky on the coffee table.

Going back into the room, Alec stepped quietly towards the sofa where Magnus was sleeping. He reached out and took the older boy's hand in his own, squeezing it gently to let him know he was back. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. Nothing could wake Magnus up right now; there was too much alcohol in his system. He moved Magnus' hand out the way slightly and began to sweep the mess up. There was liquid on the floor too; Magnus obviously hadn't even managed to finish his drink before he fell asleep.

Standing up again, Alec made his way over to the kitchen to wrap up the broken glass in an old newspaper. When he returned, he took a blanket off the side and placed it over Magnus. He kissed him on the forehead and wearily made his way to their bedroom. He stood in front of the mirror, staring blankly at his own reflection. His eyes were heavy and they had lost some of their hazel colour.

Alec paused and let his thoughts wonder off. Magnus used to tell him he fell in love with the little flecks of colour in his eyes. But not anymore. Shaking his head, he tugged at his own tie. It was already a little loose but he had undone it completely now, freeing himself for his long sleeve white shirt. He locked eyes with his reflection again; he was 25 but he looked about 40. He looked exhausted and he was - just tired of Magnus being everything to him but himself meaning nothing to the man that was asleep on the sofa.

He was broken from his thoughts by the sound of glass smashing and his boyfriend heaving. He rushed back into the living room to see Magnus vomiting on the floor and another broken glass beneath his hand.

"It's ok," he whispered, leaning over the back of the sofa and rubbing Magnus' back affectionately. The older man was still throwing up and whilst Alec hated seeing him this way, he stayed there until Magnus was done. Alec patted and rubbed his boyfriend's back until his breathing had slowed down and once again made his way to the cupboard under the sink to retrieve the dustpan and brush. He poured a ton of baking powder, which he also kept under the sink for similar situations, onto the mess and let it soak it up before brushing it away.

Magnus was fast asleep again when Alec returned and he just stood there watching him for what felt like hours, although it was probably only a few minutes. He wanted to help his boyfriend so badly, make him see it would all be alright in the end. Alec was almost frustrated. He had given up so much to be with Magnus - his family had disowned him, his friends barely spoke to him - and he didn't feel like Magnus was willing to make any sacrifices.

Alec perched on a chair nearby, watching the older man breathe in and out as he remembered how his parents had reacted when they found out he was dating Magnus. Maryse, his mother, had treated him like a child - shouting, yelling and belittling him. She questioned him about Magnus and asked him how he could possibly know what love is. But he knew. This is what love was. Love was sitting beside his sick boyfriend, nursing him back to health because he couldn't beat the demons inside his head. Alec knew what love was but he wasn't sure if love could save their relationship again. He wasn't one to give up lightly but he was struggling. He had to cope with all this on his own effectively, even Jace only spoke to him once or twice a month now.

Alec took a remote from the table and pressed it, causing the curtains to rise up so he could admire the beautiful city from his and Magnus' balcony. The lights of New York sparkled against the dark sky and Alec felt himself drawn to the shining beacon on top on one of the skyscrapers next to the bridge. He let his mind focus on that, briefly forgetting everything that had happened tonight. He pressed another button on the remote and it turned the lights in the kitchen down as well as the ones in the lounge too.

He fiddled with the remote, opening and shutting the curtains, turning the lights on and off before he slammed it down. Alec got everything he wanted; a new designer suit for work, a new computer at a drop of a hat. Money could buy him and Magnus everything but it coudn't make his boyfriend better.

He sat there for the next few hours watching over Magnus, never once shutting his eyes for fear his boyfriend might throw up and choke himself. The night's silence was only ever interrupted by Magnus waking up to throw up, before he drifted back to sleep. Alec wasn't sure if Magnus even knew he was there. He moved from the seat to sit next to his boyfriend when he started to stir. There was nothing worse than waking up alone, and didn't Alec know that. He rubbed Magnus' back as he woke up, kissing him on the forehead so he knew he was right there next to him.

He reached out and took Magnus' hand in his own, using his thumb to stroke the older man's hand. Magnus stirred, turning to face his boyfriend and carefully opened his eyes. He looked around to see the room a lot tidier than it had been over the last few days when Alec was away. Alec had obviously got back late and stayed up through the night.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, patting Magnus on the head lightly as he returned to consciousness.

"Rough," Magnus groaned out, holding his head. Alec handed him some water and helped his boyfriend sit up so he could sip the cool liquid. He looked over and saw the nearly empty bottle of whisky and felt himself wretch. "I must have drank a lot." He gestured towards the empty bottle and noticed the reminents of baking powder in various places around the floor, realising what happened. "Gosh, why can I never get to a toilet?" he said with a laugh. Alec was about to lean closer and stroke Magnus' cheek when he noticed he was shaking, a result of his addiction, but he pulled away and stood up hurriedly.

"Magnus, I can't do this," he came out with all of a sudden, "I've been up all night and you've not once asked me how I am or how my trip was. I can't do with this relationship being all about you, your problems." Alec was normally a man of few words but it was all coming out tonight. "You need help Magnus, let me help you. Please. We can do this together," Alec begged, falling to his knees as he started sobbing.

"I don't have a problem," Magnus replied stubbornly, his voice incredibly calm.

"What has to happen for you to realise you have a problem?" Alec shouted back through tears, gesturing with his hands to get his point across. "Do you have to end up dead in a ditch somewhere to realise your problem?"

"We don't need to fix anything together because I don't have a problem," Magnus repeated, his voice still calm whilst Alec was shaking in frustration.

"You're right, we don't. There is no we anymore," Alec screamed back, grabbing his phone and storming out of their apartment, "In three, four years, when you're dead because you can't accept you have a problem, don't call me because I won't be coming to your funeral."

 

**You look as good as the day I met you.  
I forget just why I left you, I was insane ...  
Four years, no calls.  
Now you're looking pretty in a hotel bar.  
And I can't stop.**

_The present day._

"Alexander?"

Alec spun round at hearing a voice from the past utter his name. There was only one person, except his mother, who called him by his full name.

"Oh my gosh, Mags?" Alec said startled, admiring his former lover, who was standing in front of him with a huge grin on his face. Magnus was a different person; the shakes he used to get had gone and he just looked more healthy in general. He only had a little stubble now but he was definitely much more exploratory with his make up, a thick sweep of eyeliner over the top and bottom of his eyelids. Alec was trying hard to process all this; what a difference four years had made. He was so distracted looking him up and down that he didn't even hear Magnus ask how he'd been.

After having the question repeated for him, Alec told Magnus he had moved out to the sticks but was back in town for a business meeting. Magnus was now working as a freelance video production editor and he lived wherever his work took him, which was all around in the first couple of years. Now, there was enough work in New York City to keep him busy so he had just bought a place there.

"What happened to the loft?" Alec asked, curious what had become of their former home. Magnus raised his eyebrows a little before sighing. Alec really should have been heading to bed - he had a big meeting tomorrow - but something compelled him to ask Magnus if he wanted to catch up over a (non-alcoholic) drink.

"Sure, I'd love to - shall we head over to the bar?" Magnus asked, gesturing towards the luxurious seats near the hotel's bar.

"Magnus, are you sure? We can go to the milkshake bar next door. It's really not a problem," Alec stammered out, suddenly feeling a bit panicky.

"Alexander, you worry too much. I'm much better now. I'm 1459 days sober. I haven't touched a drop since the day we broke up. It was hard and awful but I finally got the help you told me I so desperately needed. I wouldn't have done it without you," Magnus said. Alec felt compelled to reach out for the older man's hand but he restrained himself for fear it wouldn't be appropriate now. Alec may still be single but Magnus had most likely moved on.

"If you're sure?" Alec said with a smile, letting his former boyfriend lead him towards the bar. They ordered a drink each and took a seat next to each other on one of the sofas. "Mags, I'm so proud of you," Alec said, making the first physical contact of the night by placing his hand on Magnus' back. He felt a jolt of electricity course through this body and they smiled at each other, Alec never breaking the contact between them for a few moments.

Magnus recalled to Alec how he had entered rehab the day after they split. Once the younger man had collected all his stuff from their apartment, Magnus packed his own stuff up and made a call to the best rehab centre he could afford. He ended up selling the loft, just one of the homes he owned, to fund his treatment in its entirety.

"I was heartbroken when you left, but you did me the world's biggest favour. I'm just sorry that I didn't realise how much I needed help whilst we were still together," Magnus said. Alec felt a lump build up in his throat. He swallowed hard, taking a big sip of his drink. There was silence for a moment; Magnus was unsure if it was the right thing to have said what he did.

"Anyway, how have you been? How's work going?" Magnus asked and Alec swore he could burst out in tears right there and then. Magnus was a new person; the old one - the alcoholic one - would have never asked him how he was. He was always focused on himself. Four years had passed but Alec remembered their break up so clearly like it happened yesterday.

In truth, Alec had never really moved on from Magnus. He spent the first few months after their split in the same job but one day, realising he had nothing to keep him in New York anymore, he decided to apply for a promotion. The pay was better, yes, but the new job would take him all over the world. A chance to explore and get out of the "four walls" he felt choked by. However, on the relationship front, Alec had stayed single. His job didn't really allow for much dating and anyway, he wasn't planning on being tied to anyone again.

And then the dreaded question came. "So how is your love life?" Magnus asked just before sipping on his drink and looking at Alec through his glass. He should have expected Magnus to bring this up but how could he even tell the older man he had never stopped loving him despite all their problems. Magnus had never left Alec's mind for a second in those four years. He was an attractive man and he had plenty of men (and women) come onto him. But Alec only ever had eyes for Magnus.

"This girl came onto me once, she tried to kiss me. Told me she could make me a very happy man," he said and immediately regretted it. What kind of answer was that? But he kept going. "She was new to the office and no one told her I was gay, poor girl." He managed out an awkward laugh, hoping to rid the tension in the room but it didn't work. Magnus sat there a little dumbfounded at Alec's response, stirring his drink with his little finger.

Alec focused his gaze on Magnus' finger swirling the liquid around, hoping the older man would break the silence soon. He did but not in the way Alec wanted.  
"Has there been anybody?" he asked, a little smile creeping on his face.

"No." Alec was quite abrupt with his tone but he wasn't angry at Magnus. He just didn't know how to understand or control his feelings. He knew what he wanted to do, but that would certainly not be appropriate. "How about you?"

"Oh a few people here and there," Magnus said with a joyful tone and Alec felt his heart sink. He tried to stay quiet but he couldn't.

"Oh I see," he said. A pause. "Another drink?" The older man nodded and Alec headed over to the bar. He was half way through ordering when he stopped and corrected himself. "Sorry, can we change that whisky for a glass of orange juice?" It wasn't fair to tempt Magnus with alcohol. He had done so well in rehab.

"Here you go," Alec said, popping the two drinks onto the table. Magnus thanked him and they continued discussing work and the cool jobs Magnus had been on. Alec told him about all the travelling he had done; the beautiful places he had seen. He pulled out the photos to show Magnus some of the places he'd been. Tokyo, the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, London.

"I'm sad I wasn't there with you. It looks beautiful," Magnus said as he scrolled through the pictures. Alec watched him do so in complete silence and kept replaying those words in his head. _With you. With you._

"With me?" he questioned a few minutes after Magnus had made the initial statement.

"With you," he said matter-of-factly, "We always said we'd take a year off and go travelling together. I'm sad we didn't get to do that. I wanted to explore the world with you." Alec felt that familiar lump in his throat returning. Something inside of him moved his hand forward onto Magnus' knee.

"Alec, what are you -" Magnus began but was cut off by the younger man's lips on his. The kiss was delicate, just a peck but it made Alec's heart leap out of his chest. Four years he had waited for this, 1460 days, 35000 hours and 2.1 million minutes.

Alec sighed, waiting for Magnus' inevitable response. "I'm sorry, I can't." "I'm with somebody else." But he didn't, he just kissed him hard on the mouth with so much passion that it made Alec giddy.

 

**So baby pull me closer.  
In the back seat of your rover ...  
Bite that tattoo on your shoulder.**

"It was, uh, nice to catch up," Magnus said awkwardly, standing by the door to Alec's hotel room. Even though Alec was staying just upstairs, Magnus insisted he would walk him to his door. But frankly, he was now standing outside room 1004 because neither of them wanted the night to end.

"Yeah I enjoyed it too," Alec replied, leaning against the doorframe and drumming his fingers against it. Magnus focused on the motion, wishing his fingers would be doing that on his skin. He sighed audibly without even realising, causing Alec to stand up straight. "Are you rushing off somewhere?" he asked, a little smile creeping on his lips when Magnus told him he hadn't got any plans. Alec stood to the side, gesturing for Magnus to come in.

Walking in, he admired the huge suite Alec was staying in. He observed the sitting room space, with a little sofa, a coffee table and a huge television. There was also a desk space covered in paperwork; it was so unlike Alec to be messy. Then he clocked his eyes on the bed, the sheets were crisp white and it looked so comfy. Magnus briefly closed his eyes and sighed before opening them again.

"About earlier," Alec said, pausing and taking a deep breath, "Was that OK?" Magnus nodded in response, unable to form any words, which was a rarity for the older man. They were suddenly inches from each other, the younger boy straddled him on the sofa.

"Alec, I ..." Magnus managed before he felt lips on his neck. The kisses and licks were desperate, hot and Magnus could barely control himself. He never realised how much he had wanted this for the last four years but here now, having all the weak spots only Alec knew kissed and teased, he felt overwhelmed.

"Magnus, shhh," Alec muttered, his lips still focused on the soft skin of Magnus' neck. He had a bit of a thing for Magnus' neck in the past so it was only a matter of time before Alec would get his neck seen to. "Just enjoy it." The younger man was defiant and that pleased Magnus. He liked it when Alec took charge. He straddled Magnus and they fell back onto the sofa as Alec attacked Magnus' easily-exposed collarbones.

It had been so long since they'd done anything, but everything fit into place. Yes, it had been four years since they split but their physical relationship had been dwindling ever since Magnus' addiction got bad. But right now, none of that mattered; Magnus threw his head back in pleasure and bit his lip as Alec worked on a particularly weak spot. The younger man ground his hips down onto Magnus, leaving him light headed. Alec still knew, after all this time, how to make him feel good.

"Are you OK?" Alec asked, cupping Magnus' cheek carefully, making him look at him square in the face.

"Are you Alexander?" Magnus said after a few moments of holding the gaze between them, "Because something seems to be up." He giggled as he rolled his hips up and Alec realised he was unmistakably getting hard.

"Shit, sorry," he said, going to roll off Magnus but the older man held him in place with his hands on his hips.

"Just enjoy it," Magnus teased, echoing Alec's comment from before. He bucked his hips up to meet Alec's and he felt the material uncomfortably glide across the tip of his length.

"Oh god," Alec managed, gripping onto Magnus hard and rocking his hips in sync. He buried his head in Magnus' neck, desperate for this feeling again. There was no way in hell that anyone could please Alec like Magnus could. "Fuck," he groaned out as he felt the unbearable swipe of the material again on his most sensitive area.

"Take it easy Alec," Magnus cooed, pressing kisses on his neck. His hands wandered from Alec's hips, under his shirt to his tummy and up to his chest. It was a little bit hairier than before but Magnus really loved that. He settled his hands on Alec's abs, running his fingers over the dips in the muscle and tracing the patterns.  
"I'm trying," he murmured but his actions were the complete opposite. He started undoing the buttons on Magnus' shirt, rolling his hips down and kissing his exposed chest. He even poked his tongue out and licked a long line from Magnus' chest to just above the waistband to his boxers. With Magnus' approval, Alec got on his knees and started undoing the older man's trousers, revealing a tent in his black boxers.

"Are you sure about this?" Alec began, "Because if you don't want it, I don't want to force it. It's just, I missed you." He rambled out, not even stopping to breathe. He only quietened down when Magnus hushed him.

"I think you know I'm sure. Now don't make me beg you, help me, please Alec," Magnus breathed out, feeling a familiar set of fingers hovering on the soft and sensitive skin just above the waistband of his boxers. He could only oblige, replacing his fingers with his lips as he pulled the offending material away. Magnus' length springed out to greet Alec and he grinned at the sight.

Alec rolled his own hips as he refamiliarised himself with Magnus. He used his fingers to explore the sensitive skin around his inner thighs before tapping his fingers in patterns over Magnus' hardening length. He leaned forward and pressed his tongue against the tip, which was leaking a little pre-come. The feeling left Magnus breathless and he bucked his hips up hard, causing Alec to take the first couple of inches into his mouth. He opened his mouth a little more, taking in another couple of inches as he lightly hummed, sending vibrations through Magnus' length.

"Oh god Alec," Magnus screamed out, "Fuck, it's been so long." The younger man thought he would just come at the sound of Magnus moaning his name. It had been so long; these four years had gone so slow and yet right now, it seemed like it was yesterday when they were last in bed together. "Yes, like that," Magnus moaned as Alec flicked his tongue against the tip. He lapped away at the leaking pre-come, reaching down to unbutton his trousers to stop the pain of being restrained by his own clothes.

Freed at last, Alec reached down to rub himself over his white Calvin Kleins whilst he continued licking and sucking Magnus' length. The older man now had his hand tangled in Alec's hair, guiding him up and down his hard length. His hand moved up and down and squeezed lightly at different points on his length, making Magnus scream. He was so close now; the feeling was building up and up and up.

"Yes, Alec," he moaned out, spilling into the younger boy's mouth. He smirked, swallowing the load he was given and encouraging Magnus to come again with a few more pumps of his length. He swirled his tongue over the tip in the shape of a figure of eight until Magnus let go again, moans, grunts and sharp intakes of breath falling from his lips.

"Alec, I can't - I can't breathe," Magnus stammered out and the younger man immediately pulled away. No matter how bad he wanted to carry on with Magnus, he didn't want to push things.

"It's ok Mags," Alec said, moving so he was sat on the sofa next to Magnus. He placed his hand on the older man's back and breathed with him slowly until he could catch his breath a little better again.

"Sorry," Magnus said, his voice a little shaky but a smile was spread across his face, "It was just really good. It's been a long time." He closed his eyes and felt Alec's lips press against his cheek, their hands interlocking.

"I bet," Alec said with a little laugh, "When was the last time you slept with someone? Two weeks ago? 10 days?" He pressed a sweet kiss on Magnus' temple waiting for an answer.

"Actually Alec, it's been four years and six days." Alec was shocked. Magnus was hardly short of the attention and he had a sex drive to rival Eros.

"But you said -?" Alec began, confused. It was only a few hours ago when Magnus told him it had been "a few people here and there".

"I lied," Magnus said with a laugh, "I came to this bar with the hope of running into you again. I missed you." His tone was more serious now. His breath was basically back to normal now but he was still laid there, his head thrown back against the back of the sofa.

"How did you know I'd be here?" Alec asked, his thumb rubbing Magnus' hand delicately.

"Alexander, no one knows you as well as I do."


End file.
